XXXVII : Just DO It

These past few days, I've had multiple dreams in which my feelings go a little overboard. I've felt shameful to the point that I don't want to interact with anyone because I fear what they think of me. I've felt annoyed so much that I've raised my voice against my mom about something probably very trivial, like this one dream I had in which I was arguing passionately against my sister about not sharing jeans. I don't remember what situations I was in anymore, so I can't analyze my own dream any further. But I can't say that I don't ever think that way when I'm awake, though it surely doesn't last long enough that I would make a big deal out of it. I can't pinpoint when it started, but I've decided that for most things, I just do it rather than taking the time to thoroughly think it through (I'm not a very good planner). I usually just don't want to think too much about some decisions. Just do or don't do it and move on. In a way.

It doesn't have to regard something deep. My family friend popped a tire while driving me and others back home from Costco.

Sure, we laughed and looked at the slit and flattened tire for a while, but the important thing was that we had to change the tire to the spare, something none of us had done before. So, we worked together (5 people) to change the tire. It was an important experience to learn how to change a flat tire. The spare made the car look awkward though, but that's beside the point.

There was nothing to be ashamed of for going over a curb and popping a tire in the process. In fact, it made for quite an interesting experience.

Or maybe there's someone you haven't contacted in a year (or maybe a little more) and you just want to ask to hang out randomly. I did hesitate for a moment since I've talked to her sister more recently than to her, but I thought "eh, she's probably more busy." So I called the one I haven't talked to in a while. It would be a good surprise, too. But inside, I did think, "she'll probably think 'why call ME after so long when you could've called my sister?' because it would make more sense." But, now that I think about it, if not now, then wouldn't extending the time period make it even more awkward when we make contact again? I doubt we'd never talk to each other over the phone, so why not earlier? So yeah, I called and yeah, I got the feeling she was thinking "why are you calling me?" And I shouldn't dwell on the fact that after I said "This is Melody!" she replied "Me-lo-dy?" really slowly. It's okay, I just asked what I had in mind and got an answer. That's that. I think it was good to renew (hmm, probably wrong word to describe this) our connection now rather than later. But sometimes I do think to myself "they probably think I'm just contacting them because I want something from them" before I talk to someone, but hey, sometimes that's only just part of my intention of saying HELLO! Just a little part. Sometimes. And in the end, even if I do feel that what I thought was in fact true, I don't regret that conversation we had.

There have been far more times I have regretted not saying HI or striking up a conversation (even one consisting of just a question and an answer) and letting time pass by. There's nothing to fear or be ashamed of in a dropped in greeting or random question. And if there's some bouncing back-and-forth going on in making a decision, there's still nothing to fear or be ashamed of in things not following your plan or expectations. Maybe I'm too optimistic, but I believe no matter what decision is made, somewhere in the future it will make you smile.

I didn't buy it, but I'm glad that they do indeed make dino earrings in non-dino-oriented stores. I will most likely get my ears pierced one of these days/weeks/months/years.