XIX : Catching Up

This one week has passed by full of uncommon experiences in my usually plain days.

1) 09.23.09 - Wednesday
The empty space due to the removal of the broken stove/oven/broiler. Another result of the fire in the broiler two posts ago.

2) 09.24.09 - Thursday
Installment of a new (and quite lovely) stove/oven/broiler. It works much better than the old one, doesn't require strange circular aluminum foil lining the fire of the stove; and it lights much quicker.

3) 09.25.09 - Friday
I called home in the morning (which I usually do not) to hear my mom's and dad's voices over the phone. When I sick, I starting wanting to get things done quicker and tell someone about what I'm going through. Anyway, I got asked the question "what would you do?" after my mom attempted to reword the statement "daddy and I last night talked about if we passed away." I had to keep myself from tearing up while walking around campus to my morning lecture. It was difficult and I wanted my mom to stop asking "what would you do" after explaining some more that same reworded statement. I have thought about it for years already, and I still conclude that I am in the position of heavy parental dependency. There is no way I would be able to sustain myself if my parents were to pass away tomorrow, or some time soon. How would I cope? How would I push forward? Start with trudging through thick mud, blinded by the muddled thoughts that would keep me down. And slowly find myself walking along a stream. Or in it. I don't know yet.

4) 09.26.09 - Saturday
Sleeping around 6:30 AM because of http://sporcle.com [mentally stimulating diversions, it says on the website title]. Truly a good use of time. Also, best when played after drinking a full cup of (I want to say Raspberry, but for some reason I keep thinking the fruit name started with a "p") Blood Orange tea from Ground Zero. Very delicious. Very powerful for keeping me up way passed my healthy sleep time. My first ever all nighter, and it wasn't even for homework! But, I still can name all 50 states. How long has it been since I raced my sister to see who could fill in all the state names on a map she got from school one year.

5) 09.27.09 - Sunday

Eating at a delicious Hawaiian-style restaurant in Alhambra. Their macadamia pancakes are truly amazing. The secret sweet cream spilling over the soft pancake and a few soft chunks of macadamia nuts, which I usually dislike eating, sparks my taste buds, making me salivate like Pavlov's dog. Just thinking about the deliciousness makes me crave it.

4 and 5 are all due to Phoebe and Steph coming over to visit Lint and me. Very wonderful. Very enjoyable. Very memorable. I want to make a scrapbook with developed photos of my digital takes. A truly beautiful life. What will the coming week be like? [I have to spice up work, physical chemistry exam, literature review, badminton, etc.]

XVIII : Aftereffects of the Fire in the Broiler

So, even though we thought we thoroughly cleaned off all the soot from the counters, cabinets, and even the ceiling, the next day, there were traces of soot again. Less of it, but still enough to make us clean the counter tops again. Not only were there still soot in the room, the stove didn't work anymore. The gas doesn't come out, and for once, I find it sucks having a gas stove. Sure, all the pans seem to heat up faster and the fire is cool to look at, but when there's no gas, there's no fire. I thought that it was because the firefighters probably turned off the gas in our room for safety precautions. But, apparently, the fire had burned the inside of the stove/oven and now the whole thing doesn't work. What to do? At least we have a water boiler.

And rice cooker!

Success! Steamed egg that is super soft that once a chunk is scooped out of it, it topples over. I love.

Too bad I can't live off of steamed egg. Healthily, that is. I wouldn't mind having different flavors of steamed egg or different ingredients put into it, but my body would probably go crazy from the overload of egg. What sucks is that I still haven't made myself an omelette yet!

XVII : Fire in the Broiler

Unfortunately, I did not think to snap a picture of this to record as a memory. It started with my roomie, Aly, and last year's roomie, Angela, making cookies together. They had the oatmeal cookie dough all mixed and prepared, so they were preheating the oven. Suddenly, white smoke started coming out from the oven and the nearby fire alarm went off. This had happened before, so I turned on the fan above our stove to suck out the smoke, but then, a gap in the stove that probably let out smoke from the oven part started releasing gray smoke. A lot of gray smoke. This was not normal. My other roomie, Lynn, came out of her room, where she had been napping. I looked at the oven and saw orange flames at the bottom where the broiler was, and the smoke continued to engulf our living room. We opened the windows and the balcony door to let out the smoke, but our second smoke detector alarmed. The room was heavy with smoke now, and it was getting into the hallway. My computer was located on the floor near the kitchen, and I took the time to actually shut it down. But, seeing that the smoke was getting thicker, I went out into the hallway where my roomies were. Lynn remained to try to put out the flames before they escaped from the oven. She found the fire extinguisher at the end of the hall, but could not break open the glass with the trash can she held. Our neighbors, guy friends of Lynn's, were not home, so she resorted with filling up the empty trashcan with water from the tub and pouring it into the stove. Three times she did this, and the fire finally died, but a bunch of ash was left. Outside, Aly kept frantically calling "Lynn! Come out of there! Where are you! Get out of there!" She dialed our school's emergency number and handed me the phone, so I talked to the officer on the other side. I didn't realize I was panicking until I started talking and had no idea how to coherently explain the situation. But he connected me to the fire department after hearing me say "fire under stove." and answer "no" when he asked if I had contacted the fire department. I had to re-explain the situation to the fire department, in which they requested the number, and I handed the phone back to Aly. Then, I walked back into the smoke-filled hallway and into our apartment to see Lynn throw the third trashcan-ful of water at the stove. We grabbed our phones and she grabbed her wallet before exiting the whole apartment complex.

Outside in fresh air, neighbors on their balcony saw the smoke coming out from our hallway. They exclaimed, "are you guys alright? What happened?" and we explained that our stove had caught fire underneath. Whoever was on our floor evacuated outside with us. A DPS (Department of Public Safety) officer passed by our building on one of those chariot things that you stand on. He came back after a U-turn. A small fire truck came and Lynn exclaimed, "that's it?" And then four big trucks came after that. I was glad they were prepared for the worst. Firefighters entered the building and told us to get further away. More safety officers came to the scene. And we waited. The firefighters came back outside after a while, and the smoke declined. They asked whose apartment it was and Aly, Lynn, and I stepped forward. The safety officers then inquired "so, who was making cookies?" and it became a much more relaxing chat. Aly replied and the officer said "You didn't make them for us? That's why this happened. When you make cookies, you'd better make some for us." and we laughed. The firefighters came out and asked, "so, who was making cookies?" too. But one answered "oatmeal raisin?" when Aly replied that they were oatmeal cookies. And when she said no, he said "That's why this happened. You have to have the raisin!" It was good talking to them. We thanked them all as they left. And Lynn also made sure to tell one of the firefighters about her failed attempt to open the fire extinguisher. He had commented, "I noticed you did not use the fire extinguisher." Yes, we were not strong enough to break that glass.

So, we returned to our apartment and began cleaning up the soot that was left all over the room and the water that was spilling out from the oven. Some of the cooking pans we had stored in the broiler had caught fire and were pieces of burnt clay. Somehow, they had not burned at 350 degrees when Aly was baking brownies, but had burned at 375 degrees for cookies. Ari was not home for all this. Cleaning took a long time, as we had to clean up ALL the black specs and the water. Used so many paper towels and swiffer towels. And I'm glad my mom made me bring all those SHAMWOW! sheets. They were all used (2 large ones and 3 small ones) for soaking up the water that had gotten onto the carpet. And the carpet is still wet. But then again, it was three trashcan-fulls.

This kind of excitement I would rather stay away from. Seeing the dark gray smoke spewing from the stove/oven was already too intense. Actually seeing the uncontrolled flames was overdoing it. And my respiratory system is weak toward smoke. The small amount I had inhaled made me cough and lose my voice for a while. I'm glad the fire didn't escape from the broiler though. Yay for contained combustion.

XVI : Double the Surprise

I was happily surprised on sunday to find this plop into the bowl before I beat it to make eggs and tomatoes with. :) And, to compare the yolk size with another [just a single lonely yolk], I took another picture.

Eggs are so gorgeous. And, the other day, I dropped one on the floor and exclaimed out loud when it hit the ground. One of my roomies came over and asked, "What happened? Is everything okay?" NoooO! I dropped an egg on the floor! At least tears didn't come out this time. But still, if I had dropped my leftovers onto the ground and had t throw it all away, I don't think I would have cried out loud like that.

On another note, how do you write something that touches the reader's heart? It doesn't have to be sad, serious, or solemn. It can be joyful, lifting, or just funny. It would be great if I could write a piece that made the application reader laugh out loud, give out a little chuckle or something. But does it come on purpose? Or do I have to think carefully? Writing is so difficult for me. There's something in this mind of mine that just hasn't clicked about writing. Where is the enlightenment!

This morning, I was scared by a cockroach climbing around near the corner of my mattress (I don't have a bed frame). I freaked out and woke my roomie, who freaked out with me. But she suggested I trap it in a tupperware, so I went to get that and we pulled out my mattress a bit and I put the tupperware over the big black cockroach. Then I sat back, shaking a bit and not knowing what to do next. My mind kept thinking "It's too early to be dealing with this!!" Essentially, I was scared of it, which surprised me. I never knew I was scared of cockroaches. But, I scooped the lid underneath the tupperware and got the cockroach to go on top of it. And then pressed it shut tightly. When I lifted the tupperware, I noticed I had caught the legs in between where the lid sealed tightly with the box's rim. I freaked out even more to see that the middle leg had detached from the body. and the other two long legs were flattened. I cried out loud and my roomie gave me moral support, encouraging me as I went out to our balcony and prepared to throw the cockroach away from our apartment. But the image of the roach climbing out of the box frightened me, and when I opened the lid, I gave a yelp and dropped the lid to the floor while the cockroach dropped along with it. That was that. But my hands remained shaky and I felt my arm muscles going weak. They remained weak until I got to the pharmacy to start work. My goodness, what a morning.

XV : Progress

I sent in my PharmCAS application today, just about two hours ago, but the exact time doesn't matter. I sent it in! Now I have one fewer essay to worry about! I'm almost done! ha. Sometimes I enjoy laughing at my own ridiculous reasoning. One down, at least five more to go. I have an optional essay I can write, but we'll see if I get to it. So much editing to do. So many ideas to sew together. So much hope poured into these essays. I hope the application readers will be able to feel it as well. I will send in my super strong DESIRE to get that interview when I send my supplemental in.



I used to hate trying whatever my mom suggested to try. But now, no problem. Try more, learn more. Make mistakes more, understand more.

My friend asked me today, "If you had to describe your experiences at USC, what would you say?" First word that came to mind: "Thrilling." Why did I think of just one word? He asked, "That's it? Anything else?" "Life-changing. Coooool~" And a moment of flashbacks zoomed by in my head as I said that. The mind certainly is wondrous. Scenes of Freshman year, when I was clueless about very much everything. I knew less than most Freshmen. Even in my Sophomore year, some freshmen I met knew more than I did. Scenes of my classes, my problems, and my new friends; my professors, my quick sophomore year, and my summers. Somehow, all those feelings I had obtained through these past two years flowed by at the speed of light. So many, and then they were replaced by my present state of mind--walking back to my apartment. He continued, "No regrets? You don't regret coming?" No. Absolutely no regrets having come to USC, no regrets of not trying as hard as I should have when I was doing my college apps, no regrets of leaving my last semester to take the toughest upper divisions I will probably ever take in undergrad (at least, I expect them to be more difficult than ochem, but we will see). Why should I regret my choice? I've already chosen it, so I should concentrate on making the best of it. Regretting will just make me wish for what could have happened. And plus, what has happened contains some of the best feelings I cherish from my college experience.

But it's true that it's impossible for me to always think of the awesome possibilities and great outcomes that have brought me to this point. I still look back to those down times when I feel like I brought someone down with me, and left them at that point to get up on their own as I tried to recover without them. Having come back higher than I was during those experiences, I came to the realization to cherish my friends and connections. I didn't understand what those feelings in movies about friendship were really like until college. I thought friends were close if we hung out together when we could and went to place together. Had fun. But growing older, coming across more problems, and dealing with greater dilemmas also meant leaning on others. Some problems just couldn't be solved by myself anymore, much as I wished I could rely on just my own power. I realized that I couldn't provide help if I didn't ask for help in return, even if the reasons were different. I just didn't have the experience. It took some time to accept that I had to ask questions to gain more experience faster.

So, though I do think it's important to look back to see what progress has been made, I don't think spending so much time on analyzing why did I feel that way, why did I choose to do that, why did that happen, what could have happened differently, why couldn't I make it this way instead, etc. opens the mind as much as what can I do to get there, how can I make that happen again (or not happen again), what do I need to know, etc. Basically, wouldn't thinking about how to get to the future using what you know now get you to the somewhere you want to be? And every so often, gaze into the past, accept that what has happened, happened, and think how you have changed for the better since that time.

XIV : Cabby

I found this little guy in my cabbage yesterday. It's a good thing I do not chop up the cabbage first (I peel the leaves off one by one and then chop them to pieces), and this caterpillar survived the fridge for a whole two-ish weeks! I got this cabbage the second day I was back (Aug. 23), and the caterpillar was surely already in there, snuggled up between leaves and munching its way to the middle. It looked like it was freezing though, when I found it. Very little movement. And then, when I took it out and put it into a bowl, it was moving around so much; it even crawled out of the bowl twice! Had to put a lid over it. At night, I feared that maybe it was too hot here or it was dehydrating (because it was more scrunched up than usual), so I gave it some water. I also noticed there were little yellow-ish creamish colored speckles like abnormal poop droppings near it, and I thought "are those eggs?! No way, caterpillars can't lay eggs... did it have diarrhea?!" When I poked it with some fresh cabbage, it would get all angry and shift away or attack it. It got a temper suddenly. When I looked at it again this morning, it looked sluggish and unwell. But I had to go to classes for the day, so I couldn't find out more about it. I looked around for a suitable place to put it when I got back. But when I looked at it again, it looked even closer to being lifeless than it did this morning, and when I poked it, it looked stuck to the cabbage, so I thought "it's making a cocoon!" So, I started researching. But what is this caterpillar? Cabbage White? But it doesn't look like it...

XIII : Precious Feelings

I have slowly become more and more inclined to believe I do not find the beautiful feeling of love shared between couples all that wonderful. I guess, for some couples I see, I do feel a sense of that beauty, but when it comes to myself, ah. dark. broken. hurt.

Which is more precious, close friends or lovers?

To me, I believe that if you are able to clearly choose one, question if you are really prepared for that love that comes from a couple. If you find both just as precious, and you cannot decide which you would rather have while sacrificing the other, maybe you can make it to be both. That's what I think at least. For me, the more I think about this strange bond people develop with each other, the more I think I very much enjoy close friendships, much more than making it scarily close intimacy. Notice: scarily. Maybe I don't want to feel the negative effects that can come out of such intimate love. Maybe I am running from the crazy (brainless) feeling that comes from that love. Or maybe I am really just not ready, still. It's been a while. But whatever. I feel no rush to guide my good friendships down a crash course to oblivion (which makes no sense because is it even possible to crash into oblivion? Maybe that's what it means. You keep going and going, and it'll never end. you'll never be stopped because you will never crash. That friendship becomes more and more distanced, and it eventually is gone). My outlook for a lover's love is pretty dismal, huh.