CXVIII : Last Winter Break

Sad to say, but I have to come to terms with the fact that this past break is my last official winter break. No more will I be sure that I can get these 3 weeks off from mid-December to January, with no more studying, no more stressing out about schoolwork, just feeling like life has begun again. It really felt like once break started, life began. And so soon now, break will end, and my life will feel like it's in a bubble again.

Well, gotta look ahead, keep striving, and continue on! A new year for new moments, new opportunities, new findings, new accomplishments.

CXVII : Limits

I've never really been good at placing limits from the beginning. Instead, I would go through things, and then realize if I could or could not handle it. I'd give it a chance, a test, first. Mix that with the sometimes unreasonable desire to finish what I started, and you get over-stress and end results that hit far from potential. This is what I think about now when I imagine any position involved in the medical world in general.

It is ideal and best to practice/work imagining the one you are caring for is your own family, or whomever is an important person in your world. It's true that this mindset works to provide the best care for patients, but it is only possible in a select few environments. For example, if you make the medications for people, think that the med is for yourself or someone important to you. You would be extra careful to make it safe and correct. However, imagine you're working for people who are mistaken about the importance of your job, who are irritable because of their long stay in the hospital, who are already stressed out from their health endeavors, and who have the feeling of gratefulness far in the back of their minds, it is difficult to treat every patient name you see as someone important to you because when they come, you question, "why do I go through all this work for you when you come to demand selfishly for everything to go your way, regardless of the consequences?"

I had the opportunity to work in Infusion Care for a few weeks, and although I did not have to actually see patients come pick up their medications and supplies, I had to call and receive calls about them. It really felt like they were ordering food from us and we would deliver. Some were knowledgeable about the system, but others were not. In Infusion Care, I dealt mostly with enterals-- the supplies and nutritional content (aka milk formula) needed for patients who could not swallow and had to be fed through tubes, or for premature infants who needed that extra nutrition to grow. We try to work with the patients, but if they call us when the're already completely out of the 'milk,' it makes it difficult for us because we order as needed. This means that our inventory is only stocked with the most common, cheaper formulas. Anything more special is ordered specifically for that individual and takes at least a day to come in. It's hard to want to give the best care when patients have this idea that whenever and whatever they ask for, they'll get.

This leads me to separate myself from patients. I'll try to take care of you the best I can, but their life and their problems are not my worries and not personal to me. So, even though I am going to work with their best interest in mind, I am also going to keep myself distanced enough to not be affected and overwhelmed. It seems harsh to be in the health profession and be detached from the patients you care for, but there has to be limits to how much care to give or else you end up giving only subpar care to everyone.

CXXVI : Experiential Learning?

Found this list interesting to read:
25 Things I've Learned in My Twenties

So far...
1. Can't change people's personalities. Don't fool yourself into just seeing what you want to see in people.
3. People enter and leave your life, and some might reappear again. Losing touch with friends you thought would be with you forever is not such a depressing matter.
4. Success will come to you in time and in various ways, all of which are going to suit you perfectly well when you recognize your own accomplishments.
5. Everything doesn't have to have complete certainty. You'll doubt your choices, you'll want to figure out each purpose to each action, and you'll want to have a clear future for yourself. But that doesn't have to be. It's fine to go on not knowing exactly what is in store for you. Things will fall into place.
7. People grow old. You have to come to terms with letting go.
11. There are times when being stingy or thrifty is fine to just get by. But there should be times when you don't have to focus so much on the price that it limits your happiness.
12. Still trying to feel less embarrassed about myself. Still trying to be okay with making mistakes and learning from them. Still trying not to let myself get down on it.
13. More love!
17. There's no way you can completely detach yourself from the connections you had with people in your life. They made an impact on you, and you can just carry that forward with you, knowing that you are better now thanks to them. And the new people you meet additionally shape you to who you become.
18. Find your own style and don't let others create one for you.
20. How do you know what is important enough to be a big deal? And what does not have to be taken so heavily?
21. Don't be afraid to be hurt. Don't be afraid to hurt someone. Still working on this.
22. Maturity is how you carry yourself in various circumstances. How do you handle problems? How do you make your decisions?
23. Still working on this. How do you know if you've found that person that's right for you? How do you know you can handle the life ahead together? How do you know if you're truly accepting all of the person before you, and not just the parts you want to see about them?
24. Really, there's not much to complain about. But a rant now and then is helpful and healthy, as long as you find the right person to listen to you.

I just want to add...
- Most people want to and are glad to help you. Don't be afraid to ask for advice.
- In turn, most people will listen to what you have to say. Don't be afraid to tell them what you know!
- Stay out of drama. Don't get caught inside of it. Just remain on the outside and not take any sides.