Sunday, September 26, 2010

LXXX : Activities

Each week is getting more and more tiring to go through. This upcoming week will be the last week of my externship, and I'm wondering if I should be hired at the location (it's a Rite Aid pharmacy). I want some income right now, but I don't want to be overwhelmed with handling everything I'm signing up for (a bunch of health-related committees, student organizations, and a pharm frat). I still don't know how much I can handle, but I don't want to end up with nothing. Maybe I'll go for it and still look for other job opportunities as they come. I hate going into things I am unclear about.

Anyway, among all that worry, I have some updates about this past week! I left my cell phone in my apartment for the whole day I was at school on Monday. It wasn't the first time I left my phone behind and went to classes without it, so I finally made myself a sign:

It has been useful already, as I almost left my apartment without my phone three times after I made it! I don't know why I keep forgetting to take it with me in the morning. I need it outside my backpack because it's my alarm, but I end up forgetting to put it into my backpack after I wake up. It's very neglected and abused.

Yesterday, I went to Beverly Center with two pharm friends, Josh and Erica. We were in the area in the morning because Josh had an interview at Olympia Hospital, and shopping was great at taking my mind off of worrisome things. I found and then bought this shirt at 21:

I actually was debating whether to get it, but Josh and Erica talked me into it because it really is me. Plus, it was under $10! I finally have an egg shirt now!

Then today, I finally made a trip to the main campus to play badminton with the team. When I got into my car, it was an astonishing 112 degrees F!

It dropped to 107 as I drove with the AC on, but I was still sweating while just sitting there. I like hot weather, but I dislike having to concentrate on studying during that kind of weather. I don't feel my weekend was very productive. There are still about two hours left of it, so I'll try to make good use of that time. So much other things I want to do first though! Too much, too much...

Sunday, September 19, 2010

LXXIX : Class of 2014

I forgot to mention last time, but this week actually made me feel a little more love toward my fellow classmates of 2014. It's always been a sort of tradition at the School of Pharmacy for students to sit in the same seat for all 4 years of pharm school, and it's as expected when by the 3rd week or so of class, people already know where their seats are in the lecture room. However, this year, among all the other drastic changes for the class of 2014, we changed rooms after 3 weeks of class. Sure, there were people who always sat in the same seat already (the first and last row people particularly), but for some reason, my group of foursome still doesn't have our "own seats." We've been sitting in different seats almost every day. I started in the front row, but then started moving back to the middle-front. And there was a day when we actually only found seats in the last row.

That day, however, wasn't too bad. Before our Biochem-like class started, packets of the notes were distributed to our class. But when lecture began, we realized that our row and the one in front of us didn't receive any notes! We sat there for about 20 minutes looking around and trying to pay attention, but it was hard to follow along when we didn't have a hard copy of the diagrams. During that time, we tried texting people we thought were in the front row because there was a stack of notes up in the front of the room. We were hoping they would pass back a few, but no one in the front row apparently looks at their cell phone during class. Well, I guess that's understandable since they're right in front of the professor. So, I decided to write a post-it note to anyone in the first row asking if they could pass back 10ish packets to us in the back. And I let it go. My friends and I watched as the note was passed from row to row toward the front of the room. It halted for a while at each person because they obviously wanted to know what was being passed around. At first, we began thinking that the note-trick would fail because no one was getting up to grab a stack. When we were about to sigh, someone actually stood up! And grabbed some packets and they started being passed back to us! It was so lovely, seeing the helpfulness of fellow classmates passing back a bunch of paper to us. :) Really made me feel happy inside, even though I probably only know 1/4 of my class right now.

This occurrence makes me think twice about the people in my class. Even though we are probably the most competitive class out of all the pharm students currently there, we still extend helpful hands to each other. Though sometimes I feel like people in my class don't really care if others are falling behind (things like "we just have to do better than others on the exam"), I feel like if we ask for help, we will give it to each other. And another reason for me to like my class is what happened on Friday. My friend just randomly wanted to run for class Treasurer, and the application was due Friday by 5pm. We knew this other person whom we had talked to and hung out with before (maybe once or twice) who was running for Treasurer as well. He was kind enough to give my friend an extra application he had, even though they were going to be rivals. It was amazing, and I just love seeing this kind of compassion and helpfulness. It's touching, and maybe I'm just overly sensitive to kind feelings, but I thought, "even if people don't really know who you are or have the wrong idea about you, what you did was memorable and fair."

I guess, our class is super competitive, but fair. This should help push us to do what we are capable of doing. Reach our potential, in a sense.

Friday, September 17, 2010

LXXVIII : Taking a Step

It's time I decide for sure whether or not I want to run for Year 1 Representative for certain student organizations on campus. I want the experience and knowledge that comes from being a Year 1 Rep, but I fear the workload, the commitment, and the stress that comes with being one. Looking back on my past decisions, I've always tried to make sure I can handle something, dip my toes into the water to get a feel of how cold it is, before I committed to it. But, I've found out that pharmacy school is very fast-paced, and seeing what I want has to come faster. I have to know when something I can do comes up because I don't have the time to test everything before choosing. It just really sucks that I prefer knowing all my options before picking them because if I don't check everything out, I feel like I might miss something I'd actually be interested in. I feel like a hypocrite, telling people to "just go for it!" when they are ambiguous, yet here I am, thinking to myself "I can't decide!" rather than "just go for it!" I hope that in the end, I do just go for it. As long as I really try for something and not think "it's ok if I don't get it." I have to think that what I do from now is what I really, undoubtedly, unquestionably want to do. I have to overcome these fears I have of not knowing what I'm getting myself into, of not being certain that I can handle more, of not succeeding in what I strive for, of falling back on myself.

How is it that some people seem to never tire of being motivated in something? Where does that passion and drive come from?