LXXXVI : Focus

I actually went through all of November with 0 posts; it was a very busy month. And one would think I would be even more busy right now because my first final (out of 5) starts tomorrow, but here I am, posting an entry. It's been difficult studying so hard ever since the first round of midterms, and curiously, I am not feeling super nervous about finals. Yet. I have been studying intermittently, but I think I've been distracted for much longer periods. YouTube is a big factor (recently really got interested in the talented people on Youtube such as Ryan Higa, KevJumba, Arden Cho, Kurt), but I'm hoping it ends today. I really have to study for the next week. Just one more week. But before I get into that mode, I need to get rid of all these distracting feelings...

Am I so sure that I am doing what I really want to do? I see others passionately doing things outside of studying, getting truly involved in the profession already, but I'm still sitting here, not really too sad about not getting the job I interviewed for. Am I really cut out to be a pharmacist? Who can say for sure?

I watch youtube videos, come across random blogs, and see what other people in the world are doing through the internet. All the time wondering, they do this for fun and are successfully drawing in people. Can I get myself that passionate about something? For instance, music. I miss the piano, and I want to invest in a keyboard (need a job first though), but beyond that, I want to create music too. It's amazing to hear how people transcribe notable music (I love medleys!) and watching their videos on youtube makes me want to do that too. But I never get motivated enough to push myself even go toward that-- I can't get over my threshold potential! haha. random insert of nerdiness.

Or pictures. I want to capture these beautiful feelings I come across when I hang out with people, but I never bust out my camera even though I bring it around with me. I want candid shots. Well, I started playing with my camera today instead of studying, and I found these cool functions and tried to be artsy with digital photography. Behold, the pens and the notes!
I like the blurriness contrasting against the clarity of macro.

Also, looking at the creative side of people reminded me of those times in high school before 3rd period started (called reading period supposedly? or something?) when I would draw or write poems and short passages on binder paper. How creative some of those turned out to be! But, alas, I have lost that creativity, or I lack the time to sink into that state of mind anymore. Now, I write notes to myself as motivation for each day.

Kinda works, kinda doesn't. Now that I have gotten at least this much out of my mind, I hope I can focus more on pharmacy now. There's so much more I have to jot down here (what happened in November, for example), but I'll leave that to [hopefully] after finals. One week left!

LXXXV : Another Halloween

I actually tried to dress up for Halloween... yesterday. Yesterday was a long, fun 21-hour day! Woke up at 6am and went to sleep at 3am. :) It was tiringly awesome. I gave 19 flu shots and 7 cholesterol readings, and got mistaken for being Korean all the time. But everyone was so nice and the elderly were adorable with their fears of the results ("ohh, that is too high...," "that is no good," "oh no... I will return to exercising then) and, of course, receiving the shot ("I am scared..!" "heh... ha ha... *looks away*" "I don't want to show my naked body. *begins taking off shirt*" because his sleeve wouldn't roll up enough, but I showed him to a screen so he could hide behind it). I love serving the community like this, but how possible would it be to have health fairs for the public outside of school?

Afterward, I went to a Halloween party at Jess' place. The first thing I see when I walk into the house is Peter's shirtless body in the kitchen. Do all guys who work out love showing their naked body around? I guess that's why they work out. :P Because it was a Halloween party, we had to dress up. I tried to find the brightest colors I had in my wardrobe because I wanted to try a Harajuku-y look, but gave up on that idea. I just like solid colors too much. I ended up going with a black, gothic dark color with some bright yellow mixed in. But what I really had fun with was the make-up. It's like ART ON THE FACE! So fun! Jess was Tina from Glee, but the blue temporary hair dye didn't work so well.

We made dinner (more like I watched) and I had three delicious bowls of home-made spaghetti. So delicious~ and Jess found a recipe for butter baked biscuits (?) similar to the ones at Red Lobster. It was a success!! So fluffy and delicious, though it tasted different from Red Lobster's scrumptious and delicate biscuits. So good. We watched "Edward Scissorhands" and it was surprisingly funny and good, though sad. Johnny Depp was already so good at that time!

There were afterparties elsewhere, and the guests left Jess' around midnight. I went to celebrate Joy's bday finally with a whole bunch of Pharm friends. We karaoked in Ktown all the way until 2am. My mind was sleeping already by the time I got there, and I couldn't get into the mode. Basically, I sat quietly a lot of the time (and it didn't help that I don't know the recent popular songs that they kept picking). It was great to hang out with the people outside of campus and class. So tiring, but what an awesome day.

Happy Halloween. 2010.

LXXXIV : 10.28.10 randomness

The mornings have been chilly, much like the Bay Area, which I'm supposed to be used to, but I still have to force myself awake, out of bed, and to class in the cold, 55F morning. I just realized that even though the morning is cold, my car remains dry as if there were no morning dew. I go to class and miss out on the day's gradual warming. When I get out of class at noon, there has been a 30 degree weather change and it's 88 or so when I get into my car for the drive home. Can the weather be any more stranger here? This year? It's the end of October! Halloween! It should be getting and remaining cold. Though I do enjoy the sun.

On another note, my hair is long enough to tie back in a (tiny) ponytail without having random loose strands all over the place! I went to play badminton with the team on Sunday, and even with all the bobby-pins all over, I still had loose strands flailing around. It's warm enough right now that I tied my hair back and I was surprised that in just a week's time, my hair is just long enough to be put up! I'm on my way to growing it long again. Not yet sure how long though.

I'm really liking short, dangley earrings. Maybe this will be the winter when I get my ears pierced. But my ear lobes keep getting clots or something. Not sure if these small lumps will affect piercing my ear though...

So much time to myself~ what should I do?