Well, tomorrow is the day! The day when I begin pharmacy classes and a life as a pharmacy student. Today, I hung out with three of my baddy teammates, and it made me, once again, think of the days of the past year. I'm glad that I made last year so memorable, and I actually feel that I accomplished making it the best last year of undergrad I could have made it. Sure, there were still some days when I'd sit in my apartment all day (seriously, there were days when I wouldn't leave the apartment at all. They were the days I didn't even get out of my pajamas.), and there were days when I felt I wasted time browsing the internet for nothing in particular. But, they were few compared to the days when I was busy the whole day with something to do: class, research, work, baddy, hangouts, food, lab, etc. Loved the balance it came down to.
But now, I have to move on to balancing a new schedule. One thing I dislike about being in school is the difference every year is, although this is also one thing I like about being in school. The people who graduated that year are no longer back the next year, and you probably won't be able to hang out with them anymore. It makes me sad when the number of people you got to know and hang out with diminish. It's so hard for me to meet new people and establish that feel of familiarity in a quick amount of time. I usually take months (give it about 3 to a year), and before I know it, the year is over and they're gone. I dislike having to part with them, but what can I do except try to keep updated about their lives. It's exciting to meet new people and a new class, but I still long to be back with the people I've already gotten to know. I'm always finding myself in these kinds of dilemmas. Who will I choose to hang out with: people I can get to know (and will get to know for the next 4 years) or people I already know (and may not see much of anymore)?
No matter how much I tell myself that my undergrad days are over and that I have to start this new professional graduate life, I still feel pulled to spend time being an undergrad, hanging with my friends still there, being at the undergrad campus. It's probably because I graduated a year early, but people also are staying a year more to get their masters. Would I feel the same way as I do now if I had stayed one more year? I am lost between this want to still be an undergrad and this want to become a professional. How about being an undergrad professional? haha. I'm so greedy to want both.
Although, now I do feel more strongly that I want to be a professional.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
LXXIV : Comfort
I've settled into my new apartment and still have mixed feelings about the upcoming orientation and graduate courses. I'm excited that orientation is tomorrow, and I'll finally be able to meet my fellow classmates, but I'm scared because orientation is tomorrow. I'm scared that I don't know exactly what I'm getting myself into and that I won't be able to keep up with what is expected of a pharmacy student. Also, I'm excited that I'll be at the Pharmacy campus, but I can't decide if I'm glad to be there or kind of dreading it. I'm sad that summer vacation is ending for the final time, but happy to actually feel like I'm experiencing summer. Home's summer was much too cold this year. But to make up for it, I watched 18 movies! The List in order of watched:
Mononoke Hime
Hear Me
The Lion King II
The Lion King
Mulan
Homeward Bound II
10 Promises to my Dog
Toy Story 3
FFVII : Crisis Core
Advent Children
Toy Story 3 3D
Despicable Me 3D
Nim's Island
Toy Story 2
Inception
Beauty and the Beast
Aladdin
Return of Jafar
This list makes me feel accomplished. Well, make it this list and my internship experience (since all my hard-earned pay pretty much is going to loans and rent). When I think about how I was at home with my parents and sister, I remember how easy it felt to ease into that life. And now that they're on their way home, leaving me in this apartment, I am dreading living on my own again, even though I know I've had the experience last year. Maybe it's because I'm going to pharmacy school, and I want to be prepared to manage on my own. I fear having to drop out, take a break, make a new decision. When will moving around to new apartments feel more comfortable for me? Maybe when I have to do it on my own, without my parents. Maybe when I've moved around with them enough times that it feels habitual. Maybe when I'm moving in with people/someone I can be my random self. *sigh* I feel like living in an apartment will never be like living at home.
Mononoke Hime
Hear Me
The Lion King II
The Lion King
Mulan
Homeward Bound II
10 Promises to my Dog
Toy Story 3
FFVII : Crisis Core
Advent Children
Toy Story 3 3D
Despicable Me 3D
Nim's Island
Toy Story 2
Inception
Beauty and the Beast
Aladdin
Return of Jafar
This list makes me feel accomplished. Well, make it this list and my internship experience (since all my hard-earned pay pretty much is going to loans and rent). When I think about how I was at home with my parents and sister, I remember how easy it felt to ease into that life. And now that they're on their way home, leaving me in this apartment, I am dreading living on my own again, even though I know I've had the experience last year. Maybe it's because I'm going to pharmacy school, and I want to be prepared to manage on my own. I fear having to drop out, take a break, make a new decision. When will moving around to new apartments feel more comfortable for me? Maybe when I have to do it on my own, without my parents. Maybe when I've moved around with them enough times that it feels habitual. Maybe when I'm moving in with people/someone I can be my random self. *sigh* I feel like living in an apartment will never be like living at home.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
LXXIII : Interning
It's about time I uploaded pictures and recorded my memories of my internship this summer. I spent 9 weeks interning at a pharmaceutical company, and I'm glad I spent this supposed last "free" summer interning. I learned a bit about the industrial side of pharmacy (which I could potentially go in) and a lot about the importance of relations in the company. Anyway, it's hard for me to believe that I started out complaining "I'm not doing much, and it feels horrible" and "this is so boring!" and even thinking "what if I had taken the other intern position I was offered?" But that's what I thought for the first week or so because really, all I did was read SOPs (Standard Operating Procedures) for a bunch of machines (super specific types and brands of them!) that most I wouldn't even use, much less see, in my time there. I understand the importance of reading these SOPs to properly work at a pharmaceutical company, but reading it without seeing the apparatus or machine is so tedious. I couldn't even picture it in my head! And I didn't feel like I was allowed in the lab if I didn't have this background knowledge yet (as an intern, I felt like everything in the lab was fragile so I didn't dare to touch anything unless I was given permission to). It was a tough first week (there were general company training sessions as well, which were unfortunately after lunch).
When I started easing into the lab work, I finally started feeling like I was doing something. But not yet giving back to what I was earning. At least, I was learning one of the machines used for dissolution, a procedure I would be working on for the rest of my internship. Basically, I dropped capsules into some solution bath and collected samples at various times. Simple, right? But it took weeks to totally get the hang of it and be comfortable enough to do it all on my own (which I probably only did three times). But it was fun when I was doing something and talking to the people in the lab. I'm lucky that the one who trained me was a talker. I don't usually start conversations (I'm fine with just sitting in complete silence, as long as it's not uncomfortable), and as an intern who didn't know anyone's personalities yet, I wanted to just listen and watch people, learn about them first. It wasn't bad; I knew they were all nice and easy to get along with, at least for me. Lunchtimes were interesting because people ate at different times every day. Sometimes I'd be by myself in the lunch room, sometimes I'd be with one other person, and sometimes I'd be with a table-full of people (8 or so). They had interesting topics to chat about, apart from work-related ones-- yahoo front page news, raising children who are just going to start elementary school, Costco (they LOVE Costco!) food, etc. I enjoyed listening in on their conversations and answering their inquiries about my student life at USC and the pharmacy profession. I wish I had taken a picture with everyone at the potluck the day before my last day (8/6), but I didn't and ended up taking a picture during my last lunch time with the people who are like mommies to me at work. [the one in the light blue shirt is the new temp]
Anyway, in the lab, I also worked on preparing samples to test for impurities or uniformity. Because this involved mixing random samples into solutions prepared to increase solubility, I had some fun with my imagination. This particular one reminded me of Yogloo or soy milk, and then when I filled it more, it reminded me of my favorite food: EGG. Delicious.
After this was all prepared, we used the HPLC (High Performance/Pressure Liquid Chromatography) to calculate what we wanted. This was the part that took forever. The dissolution could take 6 hours, but the HPLC could take 18 hours. It was crazy! I knew HPLC took a long time to finish, but I hadn't imagined 18 hours! Hence, my lack of things to do usually after 3pm. Sometimes 2pm. It was hard doing something other than sporcle (managed to name at least 90 elements), minesweeper (completed expert level!), reading [sometimes random] news (gossip about the entertainment world), and pen doodling. Of course I tried being of help in the lab, but many times I'd get "Oh, no there isn't anything for you to do right now. Thank you though." And that was that. And it was fine with me if I ended up just dumping out solutions. There was way too much down-time for me.
Noticed this one day after lunch. Post-It says "OTC inside has expired." Ironic isn't it?
On my last day, I did my last dissolution for the company on my own. Well, I did get some help with the solutions and stuff, but I did most of the set-up and start. And as 5pm got closer, I was feeling the pang of leaving, of my internship ending. I overall had a fulfilling time rather than just a satisfactory one. One of the people I work with, Nino, said to me, "If I don't see you before you leave at 5 today, then I'll tell you this now. When you become a multimillionaire and own your own pharmaceutical company, don't ever forget NINO!" Good times. Good laughs. He showed me this on the last day because we were talking about it in the lab one time: How to speak fluent Japanese without saying a word. It has two parts. And I thought, there should be a third one for "souuuu.." yupp.
Before I left, I tried to say good-bye to everyone I had worked with and chatted with, and I thought I would tear up. I felt it coming, but luckily, I had enough time finding people that I didn't cry. *sigh* My last week was also the first week that their new temp started working. She has an incredibly strong personality, and I'm hoping she won't clash with everyone the whole 6 months she's planned to be there. It was terrifying feeling the tension between her and my mentor in the lab when she was learning about the lab. I never really thought about how employers have to seriously think about whether the applicant would mesh well with the group; I always thought the skills were more important. It makes sense though. Skills can come sooner with practice, but personality can't change easily. Unfortunately, I probably won't find out how the group is doing. I don't know how much can be disclosed to someone of my position. But we'll see.
The shape changes every week. The magnets are supposed to show who is in what building at the moment. But isn't this even more lovely?
This wraps up this summer experience. Let my pharmacy life truly begin!
When I started easing into the lab work, I finally started feeling like I was doing something. But not yet giving back to what I was earning. At least, I was learning one of the machines used for dissolution, a procedure I would be working on for the rest of my internship. Basically, I dropped capsules into some solution bath and collected samples at various times. Simple, right? But it took weeks to totally get the hang of it and be comfortable enough to do it all on my own (which I probably only did three times). But it was fun when I was doing something and talking to the people in the lab. I'm lucky that the one who trained me was a talker. I don't usually start conversations (I'm fine with just sitting in complete silence, as long as it's not uncomfortable), and as an intern who didn't know anyone's personalities yet, I wanted to just listen and watch people, learn about them first. It wasn't bad; I knew they were all nice and easy to get along with, at least for me. Lunchtimes were interesting because people ate at different times every day. Sometimes I'd be by myself in the lunch room, sometimes I'd be with one other person, and sometimes I'd be with a table-full of people (8 or so). They had interesting topics to chat about, apart from work-related ones-- yahoo front page news, raising children who are just going to start elementary school, Costco (they LOVE Costco!) food, etc. I enjoyed listening in on their conversations and answering their inquiries about my student life at USC and the pharmacy profession. I wish I had taken a picture with everyone at the potluck the day before my last day (8/6), but I didn't and ended up taking a picture during my last lunch time with the people who are like mommies to me at work. [the one in the light blue shirt is the new temp]
Anyway, in the lab, I also worked on preparing samples to test for impurities or uniformity. Because this involved mixing random samples into solutions prepared to increase solubility, I had some fun with my imagination. This particular one reminded me of Yogloo or soy milk, and then when I filled it more, it reminded me of my favorite food: EGG. Delicious.
After this was all prepared, we used the HPLC (High Performance/Pressure Liquid Chromatography) to calculate what we wanted. This was the part that took forever. The dissolution could take 6 hours, but the HPLC could take 18 hours. It was crazy! I knew HPLC took a long time to finish, but I hadn't imagined 18 hours! Hence, my lack of things to do usually after 3pm. Sometimes 2pm. It was hard doing something other than sporcle (managed to name at least 90 elements), minesweeper (completed expert level!), reading [sometimes random] news (gossip about the entertainment world), and pen doodling. Of course I tried being of help in the lab, but many times I'd get "Oh, no there isn't anything for you to do right now. Thank you though." And that was that. And it was fine with me if I ended up just dumping out solutions. There was way too much down-time for me.
Noticed this one day after lunch. Post-It says "OTC inside has expired." Ironic isn't it?
On my last day, I did my last dissolution for the company on my own. Well, I did get some help with the solutions and stuff, but I did most of the set-up and start. And as 5pm got closer, I was feeling the pang of leaving, of my internship ending. I overall had a fulfilling time rather than just a satisfactory one. One of the people I work with, Nino, said to me, "If I don't see you before you leave at 5 today, then I'll tell you this now. When you become a multimillionaire and own your own pharmaceutical company, don't ever forget NINO!" Good times. Good laughs. He showed me this on the last day because we were talking about it in the lab one time: How to speak fluent Japanese without saying a word. It has two parts. And I thought, there should be a third one for "souuuu.." yupp.
Before I left, I tried to say good-bye to everyone I had worked with and chatted with, and I thought I would tear up. I felt it coming, but luckily, I had enough time finding people that I didn't cry. *sigh* My last week was also the first week that their new temp started working. She has an incredibly strong personality, and I'm hoping she won't clash with everyone the whole 6 months she's planned to be there. It was terrifying feeling the tension between her and my mentor in the lab when she was learning about the lab. I never really thought about how employers have to seriously think about whether the applicant would mesh well with the group; I always thought the skills were more important. It makes sense though. Skills can come sooner with practice, but personality can't change easily. Unfortunately, I probably won't find out how the group is doing. I don't know how much can be disclosed to someone of my position. But we'll see.
The shape changes every week. The magnets are supposed to show who is in what building at the moment. But isn't this even more lovely?
This wraps up this summer experience. Let my pharmacy life truly begin!
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